Is it Legal for Your Friend/Relative to Perform Your Ceremony?
We often hear couples say they are going to get their friend or relative ordained online to do their ceremony. They want someone who knows them, understands them and has history with them to do their ceremony. We understand these desires!
What we don’t hear is that they want someone who can make certain that their ceremony results in a valid, legal marriage. In some states, it is very clearly spelled out in the laws that online ordinations are acceptable and result in a perfectly legally recognized marriage. In other states, it is perfectly clear in their laws that ordinations received on line are not valid for performing a wedding. In North Carolina, it is perfectly muddy! Our laws do not clearly state that online ordinations are legal or illegal. That decision in left up to the courts to decide.
As long as things are going along great in the marriage, both parties assume they are married, behave as a married couple (file joint taxes, purchase home, etc) there is no concern or questions about the validity of the marriage. It is when something goes awry in the marriage that problems come up.
In the past several years, there have been at least 3 cases brought before the North Carolina courts challenging the validity of marriage performed by Universal Life Church (ULC) ordained ministers. The results of these cases were that the marriage, performed by a ULC ordained minister, was determined to not be a valid marriage. Each of these links will take you back to court documents about the cases or to a great blog post by a law professor about marriage laws in NC. They are not easy reading, but very informative.
Recognize that we can’t give legal advice, only an attorney can do that. When asked, we recommend that you talk to your family attorney for advice. If you don’t have an attorney, we recommend couples wanting a friend to do the ceremony to hire a professional officiant to work with you and your friend. Allow the friend to do all except the legally required portions of the ceremony and the professional does those. They collaborate to write a beautiful, meaningful, personal ceremony.
Of course, we can get to know you, write a unique meaningful love filled ceremony and present it in a professional manner. Another option is to go to the magistrate’s office and have a simple civil ceremony prior to the big wedding day. The friend/family member then leads the ceremony which has no legal standing but is celebratory and honors your love and relationship. Either way, you can rest assured your marriage is legally binding.
To learn more about how we can help you with your ceremony, contact us at info@TriadWeddingOfficiaint.com or visit our website www.TriadWeddingOfficiant.com
Joann said... Rev. Liz Grimes officiated over our wedding service. Both my husband and I were raised in Christian families but had found that we did not quite relate to a lot of the churches that we had tried. We were looking for a ceremony that brought out our personalities and our faith. We met with Rev. Grimes a couple of times so could personalize the service to fit our life's history. The result was wonderful. All our guests asked us how long we had known her because she captured the essence of our experiences and made our special day even more memorable. We were glad to have caught it all on tape, and I never get bored watching the ceremony over and over again with friends and family. She did a wonderful job, you cannot go wrong with her as part of your special day.
