Family Blending Ceremonies
When there are children in the family, it is appropriate for the children to be included into the wedding ceremony. Children will accept a parent's remarriage more readily when they feel included in the wedding ceremony. Each family will know what is right for the children in their family. Those needs will vary based on age, developmental issues, relationship with parents and the new partner. Some families include the children in the wedding party and feel that is enough inclusion. Others want to do something special during the ceremony to acknowledge the children's role in the family.
While we feel it is important for children to be included in the ceremony and for the parents to make promises to the children, it is not developmentally appropriate for the children to make promises to the adults (because we know they can’t keep them and then they feel responsible for any difficulties that might arise). We can help you develop exactly the right level of involvement for your children.
These are some examples from other families.
Family Sand-blending - This is a variation on the Sand blending by the couple. This includes the children joining their parents in pouring different colored sands to symbolize the joining of the couple and their family together. The children love this version. The results are usually bright and bold.
Words Concerning Family Blending-There are times when a family wants to recognize the blending of families but can’t or don’t want to do anything physical. The children might be older and not into doing a unity ceremony or for some reason all of the children can’t be present. We can write words to recognize the love the parents have for the children and their important in this new family.
Unity Circle- Each member of the family joins hands,usually starting with one parent joining with their child, that child joins with another child and around until the last child joins with the second parent and then the two parents join their hands together to complete the circle. Words are spoken about the importance of love and family and how this marriage also recognizes the coming together of two families to form one new one.
Giving of Gifts to Children-just as the adults getting married exchange rings to demonstrate their commitment, parents can give gifts to the children to show their love and commitment to them. We will work with the parents to develop appropriate words for this section of the ceremony, depending on the age of the children.
Vows to the Children-​ During any of the above ceremonies we can include vows from the parents to the children. The parents can write their own vows to be spoken to the children or we can help you write words that will be appropriate and meaningful. This is where you can truly highlight the relationship you want with the children and make promises to them to take care of their parent and to help them be the best person they can be. We never recommend having children make promises to the adults. This is not developmentally appropriate. Children can not be responsible for the marriage or for taking care of the adults in the marriage.
Children with Special Needs-​ We can work with you to develop an appropriate way to include any children with special needs. We have extensive experience working with children and families living with special needs. You know your child best and together we can create a ceremony that will be meaningful to everyone.