FAQ

 

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When do I hire my officiant?

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We recommend hiring your officiant as soon as you have your venue confirmed.  With a venue confirmed and an officiant under contract you know you will be married that day!  The best officiants get booked early for all the popular dates. We get last minutes calls from couples who put off contracting their wedding officiant. We also hear from couples who had planned for a friend to do their ceremony; only to find out the friend could not get off work or decided they weren’t qualified. Sometime we can help and other times we are already booked.  We suggest getting your wedding officiant as early in the planning process as possible.

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Why can’t we just save money and have a friend get ordained and do the ceremony?

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In some states on-line ordinations are legal and recognized.  In other states they are strictly against the law.  And in others, it is still not fully settled.  North Carolina happens to be among those that are still not completely settled.  As recently as 2014 there have been individual court cases that ruled that ULC ordinations are not valid for marriage and have made marriages performed by them invalid (meaning the couple was never legally married and all property division laws no longer apply).   We don’t think it is wise to take risks with the only portion of your wedding day that is  legally required. It is our hope that all marriages remain solid and happy.  We also realize that sometimes things happen that make that impossible, we don’t want couples to face the added challenge of finding that their marriage was invalid from the beginning. This can be avoided by having a professional wedding officiant who holds valid credentials.  Check out our blog post to learn more.

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We want someone who truly knows us to do our ceremony so that we know they get us and will give us the ceremony we want.  How can we know that you can give us that type of ceremony?

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All Faiths Wedding Officiants of the Triad spends time getting to know you. We do this through in-depth meetings, connecting on social media, ongoing communication, questionnaires, and being available as you need us.  We know how to ask the questions that will get deep into your relationship and background in order to truly know you and know how to make your relationship and beliefs the central part of your ceremony.  We frequently hear from guests “How long have you known the couple?” and they are surprised to hear that we have only known them for a few months or a year.  They respond “It seemed like you have known them a long time. You nailed it so well.”

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Can we get legally married before the wedding ceremony?  Does that take away from the special feeling of the wedding day?

 

We often have couples who need to get the legal aspect of the marriage taken care of early.  There are many reasons to address the legal requirements...the need for medical insurance and military service are two we hear frequently.  Our couples tell us, that having done the legal requirements did not diminish the emotional or spiritual importance of the wedding day.  If we are working with you for your wedding ceremony and you find the need for a legal document prior to the ceremony, we will take care of the signing of the license at no additional charge to you.

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There are so many different words for a wedding!  How do we know what we really need or want?

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It is easy to get confused with so many words about weddings.  Let’s look at what these words mean in the wedding world! This answer really requires much more space than we have in this area.  We have fully answered that question in our blog post:"What is an elopement and how does it differ from a wedding?"  You can see that post here.

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We are from different faith backgrounds and want to honor both.  How can we do that?

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All Faiths Wedding Officiants of the Triad work closely with you to learn what is important to each of you. We learn what are the common values and beliefs of your faiths.  We focus on the commonality of your faiths and how you will honor those common beliefs and values in your marriage.  We can include readings from each faith as well as special rituals as might be appropriate.  Some couples include members of their faith community in the ceremony by having readings or prayers read by someone from their faith.  

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Our families are religious but we are not.  How can we honor them and still be true to ourselves in our ceremony?

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Your ceremony will reflect those things that are important to you.  Together we will make certain that your wedding ceremony is true to your beliefs while honoring your history and background.  This will take many forms.  All Faiths Wedding Officiants of the Triad will make sure your ceremony focuses on your values and relationship.  Those values often reflect the values you grew up with. When we focus on values rather than theology, families feel as though they are being respected and honored. If it is important to include some of the theology or scripture from the family’s religion, there are ways to do so without going deep into theology.  Some couples like to include a reading from their family’s religion that reflects the couple’s values and beliefs about marriage. 

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We are atheist but want a ceremony that looks and feels traditional and classic.  How can we do that without a lot of religion in it?

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It is possible to have a very traditional secular wedding without one word of religious language.  The ceremony itself will follow a very traditional format, the processional, welcoming words, readings if the couple wants them (not scripture), question of intent, vows, unity ceremony, closing words, pronouncement, recessional.  What makes the difference is the lack of prayers, scriptures and references to deity as well as the focus on the values you hold.  Readings can be any inspirational words that are meaningful to you.  There will not be a sermon but instead words of advice to the couple. The focus of the ceremony is your relationship, your values and life together.

 

How can we be sure that the ceremony truly reflects us and says what we want said on our wedding day?

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As we work on your ceremony together, you will see every word we intend to say on your wedding day. You have complete edit power over the ceremony.  We know surprised people behave badly, therefore, there will be no surprises on your wedding day from us!

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Can we write our own vows if we work with you?

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If you want to, of course you can write your own vows.  Remember this is your ceremony and we will make sure it is a reflection of your wishes.

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Do we have to write our own vows if we work with you?

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Not if you don’t want to.  You can pick from vows on a list or use vows from other sources.  We will make certain that your wedding ceremony is a reflection of your wishes.

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Do you attend rehearsal?

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Yes, we believe it is helpful for the wedding officiant to be present at the rehearsal. (Our Premium Package fee includes our presence at your rehearsal.  The Basic Package does not include rehearsal attendance.)

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If you are at the rehearsal, do we still need a Day of Coordinator or Planner?

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We believe it is always wise to have a professional coordinator/planner/director on site to help you make your day as stress free as possible.  Our role is very limited on your wedding day and having a professional available all day will allow you to enjoy your wedding day.

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What do all the awards on your page mean? 

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These awards are presented to less than 5% of all wedding vendors in the country.   We have been honored by our couples to be nominated for all the awards on our page.  We work hard to make sure all couples receive exactly the wedding ceremony they want.  They express their satisfaction with their reviews which are used to award these honors to wedding professionals.

 

 

What do you do to continue your education and keep you current on trends and styles in weddings?

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We attend educational seminars, both locally and nationally, in order to stay informed on all things wedding related.  We are members of organizations specifically for wedding officiants as well as general wedding organizations.  We are connected online with the top wedding professionals and learn from them as well.  We also read all the major wedding publications.

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Why is it important to have an officiant who is part of professional organizations, local and nationally?

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Professional organizations such as Triad Bridal Association, the Association of Bridal Consultants and The International Association of Professional Wedding Officiants each have a code of ethics we must agree to abide by.  Professional organizations hold their members accountable in this way.  Many require that you are recommended by other professionals in your community, so you are recognized as a reputable, honorable professional by other vendors.  This shows that we are serious about our profession.  Associations such as American Association of Wedding Officiants provide us with opportunities to connect with and learn from other wedding officiants across the country.

 

After we meet, what happens next?  

 

After our meeting, we will ask if you are ready to proceed forward.  If so we will send you a contract which is completed online.  Once it is signed we send an invoice for the retainer. We send out a brochure which details the timeline you can expect from us.  We advise and guide you during the entire ceremony planning time, providing information on getting your license, planning vows and readings, and information about your rehearsal.  As you find readings, vows, or ideas you want to share, send them to us (via a word doc) and we will save them in your electronic folder.  We also ask that you each send us a biography of your relationship-from your perspective (not written together).  About 30-60 days before your wedding you will receive the draft of your ceremony.  We will work together until the ceremony is exactly what you want.

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When do we pay the fees? 

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Our policy is that 50% of the fee is paid at the time of booking.  Of course we allow time for mail etc.  The remainder is due in full 30 days prior to the ceremony.

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How can we pay?

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We prefer check, money order, cashier’s check or cash.  Payment via credit card or bank transfer is available online at the time you sign your document.  We also can accept Venmo. We do not accept first born children, pets, or anything we must feed or clean up after!

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Can we make monthly payments?

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You can make monthly payments or send payments along as are convenient for your budget.  We do not send monthly statements/bills.  We credit the payment to your account when we receive it and send you a notice that we received the payment.

 

 Do you stay for the reception?

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If we are invited, and don’t have another ceremony following yours, we will stay for the reception.  It is entirely up to your wishes.  If you wish us to stay for the ceremony, please assign us a seat (if you are having a seating chart). It is awkward if we are asked to stay and then don't have anywhere to sit!

 

Will you say the blessing before the meal?

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We are honored to say the blessing before your meal, if that is your wish. In the case of a secular ceremony we can offer a welcome instead.

 

Do you have a wedding chapel?

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While we do not have a wedding chapel where couples can come for their ceremony, we do know of several beautiful wedding chapels we recommend as well as local city parks and gardens.  We can also have couples come to our home for simple elopement style ceremonies.   As far as we know there are no wedding chapels, like there is in Vegas or Myrtle Beach, in our area.  We are more than happy to work with you to find just the right location for your small simple ceremony.

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What other ceremonies do you offer?

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We assist families in planning memorial services, funerals and other celebration of life ceremonies when they have lost a loved one.  We put the same care and attention to honoring those who have passed with a personalized ceremony that focuses on the life of the  deceased.  We honor and respect all faith traditions and work with the family to be certain that the ceremony celebrating the life of their loved one is authentic to the beliefs of the deceased.  Check out our page describing the work with do for funerals, memorial services and other celebration of life ceremonies.  We can be your family minister to assist you with all of life's major transitions.

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Do you require premarital counseling or therapy?

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We do not require any premarital counseling.  We are not trained counselors or therapist.  We have found that couples who participate in marriage education begin their marriage on a stronger foundation.  Therefore we offer Prepare/Enrich Marriage Education and Enrichment to our couples.  We are trained Prepare/Enrich Facilitators. This allows us to provide couple with insights into their relationship, gain skills to deepen their relationship.  We encourage couple to use their engagement period to explore the relationship strengths, learn skills to grow together and to deepen the intimacy of their relationship.  Check out our page on Prepare/Enrich.

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