What is the Significance of the Unity Candle in a Wedding Ceremony?

Way back in the day---when Jac and I got married---couples did not have many choices in what happened in their wedding ceremony. The minister made most if not all the decisions. They even decided if a unity candle would be included in the ceremony.

There are many meanings to the candles in a ritual. Fire was essential to the survival of humans. Fire not only cooked the food, it lit the way, and offered protection. Fire was often used to represent hearth and home. It was used in many rituals to represent survival. In early times, people believed that the spirit of the fire (or what was represented by the fire) lived in the wick of the candle.

The Unity Candle Ceremony continues to represent some of the earliest beliefs yet also taking on the additional significance of Spirit. The wedding officiant describes the significance of this ceremony and instructs the couple in the process of lighting the Unity Candle.

During a Unity Candle Ceremony, two separate candles are lit at the beginning of the ceremony. If both mothers, or other significant family members, are present they can light the candles to represent the spark of life provided to the wedding couple. When this is done, the candles are lit as the mothers are formally seated during the beginning of the ceremony. These candles represent the history of the individual coming to the marriage. The candles represent all the family has provided to the couple and the love they were given.

The couple then uses their individual candles to light the large unity candle. This larger candle represents the family the couple is forming by their marriage. It is larger than the individual candles to indicate that the family formed by the ceremony is larger and stronger than the individuals.

We ask that our couples not extinguish their individual flames. We remind them that even though they are now legally married and have formed a family, they are still individuals. Just as the lighting of the Unity candle did not diminish the light given off by the individual candles, the love they bring to the family does not diminish the love they have for others. They should honor their individuality and let their light shine.

The Unity Candle is normally included after the vows are spoken and the rings are exchanged. The candles then burn for the duration of the wedding ceremony. They can then be placed on display in the home to remind the couple of their wedding day. Some couples light the unity candle on each anniversary as part of their celebration.

This beautiful ritual can be adapted to include any children already in the family. Your wedding officiant will know how to make this unity ceremony truly yours. Ask us how we can work with you to make this ceremony reflect your love and relationship.

Is there a time when a Unity Candle is not appropriate? We do not recommend, actually we discourage the Unity Candle, for any outdoor ceremony. It is truly a rare outdoor ceremony when the candles can be lighted and counted on to remain so. It is also important to check with your venue to be sure they allow candles-some do not. Be sure to pick unscented candles so that guests with allergies are not disturbed by the candles.