Reflections on #Marriage Monday

‪#‎Marriagemonday, the first full day licenses were issued to same sex couples in NC, was a day I will always remember and cherish! There were 6 couples in line waiting for the Register of Deeds office to open at 7:40 Monday morning when I arrived. After spending a few minutes with Jeff Thigpen, Register of Deeds, to see where we could best serve the most couples; I then met with the media. We decided to work under the shelter at the governmental plaza.

There was such joy, excitement and anticipation in the Register of Deeds office that morning, on the part of the staff as well as all those present to get licenses. Mixed in with all of the positive emotions I also witnessed fear. Some folks still had the look of apprehension (Is this really possible?) and the look of fear of rejection yet again. That changed to tears of joy and release when they realized they were not going to be rejected on this day, that their love was being fully embraced.

When we came outside to do an interview, two young women were standing near the door holding a huge bouquet of flowers. I approached and asked if they wanted to get married. They said they were already planning a spring wedding but wanted to come and share with those getting married today. They had made bouquets to share with couples on their wedding day! They also served as witnesses for some couples. When they needed to leave to go to work, they handed me two remaining bouquets (I think they had been

used and returned for use by other couples). Those were handed to couples later.

In the first hour we completed 7 ceremonies. Each couple received a decorative certificate, suitable for framing or lining the parakeet cage. We completed all paperwork right then. The couples then took it back into the Register of Deeds office to get their certified copy. The time to complete the paperwork added to the necessary time for each couple-but no one seemed to get irritated about having to wait. If a couple needed witnesses, other couples stepped forward.

Total strangers took part in one of the most intimate, personal and important days in the lives of each other. Phones were passed around to take photos of the ceremony and those who did not have their phone found that strangers were willing to take the photos and email or text them. I witnessed contact information being exchanged and promises of connecting for drinks and hanging out. I believe friendships were made on this special day!

Due to the damp/wet weather we had some difficulty getting our ink pens to write on the damp paper and in finding dry surfaces to use for the paper work. One woman had a notebook with her, which was beginning to show signs of wear. She tore the front cover off and handed it to us to use as a writing surface! That became my desk for the remainder of the day.

After an initial rush we had some down time. A staff member (?) was going for coffee and brought me and Jac each a cup and would not allow us to pay her for it. I took a short break in the middle of the day to come home and let the dog out and print additional decorative certificates. I am so glad I did.

Jac had to leave for another obligation. I also want to thank Todd Haley for his support and encouragement this afternoon-taking photos and offering his service as witness. His ink pens were also used to sign many licenses. Yes, I went through a bunch of ink pens –some just simply dying and others being carried away and others refusing to write on damp paper.

There was another huge rush mid to late afternoon. One couple brought flowers that one of their mothers had made for them for this day. After they were married they handed the flowers off to another couple, and so it went down the line (and yes at one point we had a line of 8-10 couples waiting to get married). Some couples would take a keepsake flower and then pass it down. By this time the sun had come out and we were using the rose garden in front of the courthouse as our backdrop. Couples patiently lined up along the sidewalk waiting their turn, chatting and celebrating their day!

I was also very pleased that at no time today did anyone passing by do anything negative. We had passers-by offer cheers, claps and "way to go" and other congratulatory phrases to the couples. This was true while we were on the governmental plaza as folks walked to work or into the court house to conduct their business. It was also true when we were at the rose garden on the courthouse lawn on Market Street. It was awesome how one couple would witness for the one ahead and worked down the line. I never say any irritation at waiting.

I spoke with Jeff Thigpen at the end of the day. Today was a record day for issuing marriage licenses 54-with 34 of them being same sex couples. Every time I entered the office, his staff was pleasant, cheerful and full of energy. We are so lucky to have such wonderful public servants! The energy in the office was exciting and supportive.

There are so many neat and funny stories out of today-including the official wedding trash can, a torn notebook becoming the office and others. And the children! They were beautiful, fun and perfect! One family had both moms holding a 2 year old while the 7 year old stood between them. Another family came to witness for their loved ones with their 8 month old being worn by daddy (and what adorable smiles this little fella had!) Other families came after school was out. Their laughter and playfulness added to the joy of the day.

By the time Jac and I left downtown at 6 pm, we had married more than 20 couples (2 of them being straight and the rest being same sex). Today ranks as the best day of my life--right after my own wedding and the days my children came to our family. I am truly blessed to have been a part of so much love, energy and excitement. Thanks to everyone who supported and helped make this happen.